Naruto & the Golden Fleece
by Hongthay
Summary: Crack Naruto story. Naruto has to make a trip and uncover a new summon. Kabuto is strange and and important character, Sakura death later. Eventual Sasuke defeat by Naruto. No pairings as of now. This is a free-time basis, and when I am motivated story.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: Naruto is not owned by me. I would not have destroyed it so blatantly, and then become so lazy as to just give out free power-ups so easily because I could not think of meaningful training and character progression.

Also, this is a crack story from a really weird idea. It is meant to be really strange, and hopefully give you a few laughs as well. But there should be quite a few times when you will just go "HuH, that doesn't make any sense!" The story is not supposed to. It is just supposed to be odd and entertaining. Free, what do you expect.

The scenario of this is prior to Chapter 441. So, keep that in mind. So, _**SPOILER ALERT!**_ If you have not read up to chapter 441 of the manga, this will reveal some of those things to you.

Read and enjoy. Review and flame all you want.

**SPOILER ALERT PRE-CHAPTER 441 **

Deep in Fire Country, a fierce battle rages. Pein has made his bid to capture Uzumaki Naruto, jinchuuriki of Kyuubi, the Nine-tailed demon kitsune. Naruto has given it everything he has got, only to discover that it is not enough. In his frustration at his inability to counter Pein and the grief of finally having someone declare their love for him, only to see her life snatched away from him when taking a jutsu meant to incapacitate him, Naruto finally snaps. He succumbs to the evil of the Kyuubi and listens to its false whispers and promises of revenge and makes a move to release the demon from its eternal prison. But before Naruto can make an irrevocable mistake, his father's failsafe engages summoning a representation of Namikaze Minato, the Yondaime Hokage and Uzumaki Naruto's father.

Meanwhile, while this epic battle is going on, Yakushi Kabuto has been on a journey to Konohagakure intent on infiltrating the village and gathering more data in order to continue Orochimaru's incomplete plans of destroying the Leaf Village. Kabuto hears a large explosion and feels the ground quake, and wonders what it could be. The ground shakes so badly that he falters while traveling ninja-style through the trees and misses a branch, dropping towards the ground. He lands lightly, cat-like on his feet and decides to continue his journey on terra firma. after traveling for a good 15 minutes or so he feels another earth shaking thud and congratulates himself for making the wise decision of traveling on the ground.

After another few minutes he sees light filtering through the trees ahead, which startles him. He has been traveling through the forest, instead of on the road, in order to be more subtle. The trees should continue on for quite a distance before reaching the Great Wall of Konoha, which would provide more shade. He has traveled through this area many times and does not remember any clearing. Kabuto instantly feels himself on the alert and continues cautiously through the trees and scattered debris and many fallen branches that is becoming more frequent as he moves closer to Konoha, the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

Suddenly, Kabuto is brought to an abrupt halt by the most surprising site he has ever seen--a large wasteland where the large village of Konoha had been for the past 50 years. His surprise and perplexity wakes a dormant soul within him; his right eye becomes yellow and the pupil is slitted horizontally, and the skin on the right half of Kabuto's face turns a pale ashen gray. Kabuto is not surprised by this development and calmly reaches up and takes his glasses off, putting them in a specially re-inforced and padded portion of his kunai pouch, and proceeds to retrieve a monocle from his shuriken pouch, which he proceeds to place over his left eye. If one were to watch closely, they would be slightly perturbed by the unusual appearance of a person with unmatched eyes, but if they watched a little longer they would be even more disturbed by the fact that the eyes moved independently of each other and seemed just as observant as a pair of normal eyes, just having a great range over which to see simultaneously.

Both eyes slowly examine the great expanse of wasteland before them for some time as the yellow, vertically-slit-pupil narrows in anger at what it is seeing, and the right side of the mouth tightens in anger. Kabuto's mouth slowly opens, forming the questioning words, "Who could have done thisss? Who could have taken my goal from me?" in a strange double voice. But there was no one to answer. It looked as if Kabuto would have to descend into the wasteland to find some unfortunate Konoha survivor from which to extract the answer to his unanswered query.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Naruto, or that Eichiri Oda could give Kishimoto some advice about making Naruto better. LOL

Kabuto began the slow descent into the wasteland that was formerly Konoha, one half of him awed by the destruction he is seeing, and the other half seething at the fact that he is not the one that caused all this destruction. He walked through the rubble seeing a few faces he recognized, but they were no longer in the land of the living. It made him cackle with glee. Kabuto meandered slowly through the ruins of this once proud ninja city until he believed he had reached the epicenter of the demolishment, and looked around himself. He saw the devastation of the previous Hokage's faces, and laughed long and loud. Their faces were no longer immortalized for all to remember.

Kabuto continued to gaze around, before both his eyes came to rest upon a great toad. The summon of his foolish ex-teammate, Jiraiya, the summon that allowed the Yondaime Hokage to stall the Kyuubi, and the summon that the foolish Kyuubi-brat used to prevent Gaara from destroying Konohagakure during the Sand/Oto Chuunin exam invasion, four years prior; the Toad Summon Boss Gamabunta. But, the toad looked to be severely wounded, if his awkward position was any indication. the toad was on his side, halfway embedded into the side of the mountain. Ahh, this Kabuto had to examine closer. A short run brought him to the great toad, where he observed a smaller toad, trying to bring Gamabunta back to consciousness.

This sight brought an evil light to Kabuto's yellow-vertically slitted eye, and a sinister chuckle escaped his parted lips. Kabuto stealthily advanced on the distraught toad, who was too preoccupied by his father Gamabunta's state to be aware of the surroundings. When Kabuto was close enough, he opened his mouth wide, impossibly, inhumanly wide, his jaws stretching like that of a snake before a large white snake, with a human head emerged, the visual representation of Orochimaru's soul. As Orochimaru's soul left Kabuto, Kabuto's eyes reverted to normal, and his skin slowly reverted back to normal, and once the Orochimaru's head and part of the snakes body was out of Kabuto's mouth, the ashen pallid skin tone had completely left Kabuto's face with a disgusting side-effect. Kabuto's jaw no longer had the snakelike ability to stretch and expand, so the lower jaw ripped apart from the upper half of his face, allowing Orochimaru's soul to completely exit his body.

Once Orochimaru's soul had fully exited Kabuto's body, Kabuto calmly reached up and held his lower jaw in pace while the tendons, muscles and then skin reattached themselves, before he calmly took his monocle off, polished it, placed it in his shuriken pouch and retrieved his glasses from his kunai pouch.

Orochimaru already had his sights set on the smaller toad, and his snake eyes lit with greed. Frog is one of a snake's favorite prey's he thought before quickly slithering around the unfortunate smaller toad, much as a boa constrictor would. Orochimaru looked into the toad's eyes, which were bugged out even more than normal and a sneer twisted his mouth into a slow grin, before Orochimaru used the Kanashibara no Jutsu to invoke and even greater amount of fear into the defenseless toad. Orochimaru then pried open the toad's mouth with the tip of his tail, before entering the toad's body.

Once his soul had completely entered the smaller toad's body, Orochimaru began the battle for dominance of the toad's body. A battle which he easily won due to the toad's fear of the snake. Orochimaru began to sift through the toad's memories, seeing what he could learn. The toad's name was Gamatatsu; hmm, it seemed as if he was a familiar summon of Naruto. This was even better, although Naruto may never learn what happened to his summon anyway, since he was most likely killed by whatever forced hurt Gamabunta and the other two largest toads.

Ahh, there is the information he was looking for. The ability to summon himself to the ningen world and desummon himself back to Myouboky Mountain, the land of the toad summons. This would be even easier than Orochimaru thought. Orochimaru transported himself in Gamatatsu's body back to Myouboky Mountain in the smallest puff of smoke.

Meanwhile, Kabuto was looking at the toad boss attempting to decide what the best course of action would be for him. Deciding that only some of the strongest (or luckiest) Konoha ninja would have been able to escape all this destruction, he decided that hiding would be his best option. Preferably somewhere with a few dead Konoha nin corpses nearby who he could reanimate for a short time if he needed to, and just wait for his master's return. Kabuto wondered exactly what Orochimaru was l;ooking to gain by inhabiting the body of one of the toad summons.

**Author's Note: **Thanks to moonray9 for the review. I do like the toad summons, and Gamakichi in particular, which is why I used Gamatatsu for Orochimaru's possession instead of Gamakichi, even though I was loathe to do this despicable act even to him, it is necessary.

When the souls of Kabuto and Orochimaru are combined in one body, it allows Kabuto to take on some of the characteristics of the snake. He will lose them whenever Orochimaru's soul leaves him, which is why his jaw tore halfway through Orochimaru's soul extraction. The reason Orochimaru does not have full control over Kabuto's body is because Kabuto implanted Orochimaru into his arm, where he continued to grow like a parasite before they both reached an agreement that was beneficial to them both. Now Kabuto never has to sleep, just one of the consciousnesses at a time, if Kabuto is sleeping, Orochimaru can take over, and vica versa. The reason for these abilities is Kabuto's natural regeneration. His body can adapt to this quite easily and heals from any wounds. Orochimaru's soul can only live outside a living body for a short time before he must change, but the body can be either human, animal or demon, as long as Orochimaru's will is stronger than the will of the body he is inhabiting.


End file.
